Archive for September, 2011
The phone rings, I answer it and the following conversation ensues:
- Me: Hello?
- Client: Outlook doesn’t work
- Me: What’s the problem?
- Client: It doesn’t let me attach anything!
- Me: Does it give you an error message?
- Client: Yes, it says “The attachment is too large, please try with a smaller attachment” What does that even mean?
- Me: Well, I believe “The attachment is too large, please try with a smaller attachment“
- Client: I’ll try that… Hey! It works now! You are a genius!
See that? I’m a genius! Next time I solve something in such an efficient matter, I’ll blog about it. Until then:
And here is the last (but not least) of the characters of my house: my 5-pound bundle of hair.
“That is not a dog, it’s a sample” is still my favorite small dog joke I’ve heard
Her name is Teenie María (HA! You thought she wasn’t going to have 2 names?) For 6 months I would hear “Teenie? How appropriate!” and it was SO frustrating! Why? Because I didn’t know that teeny means small. I named her after a gorgeous black doll I had whose little shirt had “Teenie” embroidered on it. Thus I had a very cartoon-like conversation when I met my former ESL teacher after she said “Teenie? How appropriate!” It went something like this:
- Me: Why is that appropriate?
- Her: Because she’s teeny
- Me: I know, I named her Teenie
- Her: Yes, and she is teeny
- Me: Of course she’s Teenie, that’s what I named her!
The conversation went on like that until she finally said “errrh, you do *know* that ‘teeny’ means ‘small’, right?”
She’s very useful when watching TV
She has been with me during my whole canadian life (minus one month) so I am quite attached to my little doggie. I grew up in Venezuela, surrounded by German Shepherds. I was 23 when I moved to Canada by myself on a cold January 3rd, 7.8 years ago into a little tiny basement apartment. I survived my first few weeks sans dog but it was awful arriving everyday to a cold and solitary apartment. I needed the unconditional love that a dog gives you, I needed a home.
So, I did a lot of Internet research and filled in tons of questionnaires, everybody had the same answer: get a West Highland Terrier, I had never had a small dog before but it made sense. So I went in search for one… that’s how I ended up in front of Teenie’s room, looking at a sad tiny pile of black hair in a corner while puppies in other rooms where all happy and playing. I asked the vendor what was wrong with her, the lady told me that she was a very depressed dog with no signs of life (great sales pitch, eh?) and asked me if I wanted her for a discounted prize. Of course I didn’t! Come on! A depressed dog that is was NOT the breed that Internet Wisdom told me was the perfect breed for me?! But I felt so bad for the poor limp doggie that I asked to see her. The lady picked her up and I wondered if the doggie was alive for all the outward signs of life that she was showing. I reached for her and as soon as my hands closed around her… MAGIC! There is absolutely no other word that can describe what happened that day, I can still remember the little gasp of surprise that escaped the sales-lady when Teenie started moving her whole body in excitement, shaking her tail SO fast it was a blur, and licking my hands as fast as her little pink tongue could.
That day I went home.
Today I’ll introduce you to my husfriend aka “the love of my life”
I gather you are wondering why I call him “husfriend”… well, we have lived together for over 4 years which makes him more than a boyfriend. However, we are not legally married which means I cannot call him “husband”, so in my never ending quest for the perfect “in-between” term, I came up with husfriend.
Not only he is an awesome handy man, he’s also FREE!
This weekend he was gone on exercises, which means that he got to sleep in a sleeping bag, eat greasy stuff on the mess, and be surrounded by tons of people wearing the same clothing as him. Let alone the zero-comfort of any of the facilities.
That’s why I decided to be nice. I wanted to receive him by throwing these guys at him (he loves angry birds)
I did the laundry *gasp*, I also ran the dishwasher AND emptied it when it was done *double gasp* both things that are usual husfriend domain. Since chicken is his very fav food, I decided to be risqué and prepare (for the very first time in my life) a whole chicken using my go-to fav foodie blog, you can find the recipe here. I was in a roll so I decided to clean the house top to bottom (I just realized I forgot the basement!)
I timed everything to perfection, I was going to start the chicken at 3:00 pm and for the last half hour of oven time, I was going to be cooking the potatoes. Perfect timing to receive husfriend between 4:30 and 5:00.
I learned a lot after this:
- Too much time in the dishwasher turns Mr. Grater in Mr. Rusty
- Hot butter + hot olive oil jumps by its own (if doggie hadn’t been 3 meters away from the stove, we would have had more than chicken for dinner)
- It doesn’t matter if you buy a brand new garlic, 6 of its cloves can and will be brown and gross
- It’s not easy to remove butter-oil-drippings from the side of your fridge
- The inside of the oven gets hot, I learned this twice, each hand learned the lesson
Besides all the learned lessons, the operation Welcome Home Dear Husfriend was well under way, the table was beautifully set with an open bottle of wine, candles, and the salad.
At 4:15 it was time to remove the lid from the chicken and start the potatoes.
At 4:15:01 the power went off.
Estimated restoration time: 6:30 p.m.
I only had salad and wine for dinner. I’m a big girl, so I didn’t cry
I follow Kelly (the recipe maker) on twitter, and she saved my
bacon chicken! She told me what to do to finish the recipe but it was going to take another 45 minutes 😦
I have to give a big thank to Hydro Ottawa as they restored power at 6:00 😀
Some would say it was a blessing in disguise because, even though we were starving by the time dinner was ready, it gave time for husfriend to take a long and well deserved hot shower and to play with his angry birds
by throwing them at his face when I wasn’t looking!
Next time I’ll tell you about the last character that shares my roof. Until then:
I believed it’s only fair to introduce you to the 3 characters of my house that would appear and reappear in my posts: my husfried, my doggie, and my kitty. I’ll start with the cat.
Meet my kitty, my 16 pound kitty whose head reaches my hip when he is standing in two legs… maybe “kitty” is not quite the proper term but whatever, he’s my kitty 🙂
I love my cat: Pancho Panza. Yes, he has two names, I’m a firm believer that you need two names in order to be able to make your point. “Pancho Panza off the counter!” sounds more effective that “Pancho off the counter” but that’s just me.
Pancho’s name has its own story. He was first called “Patch” because he had a little bit of a black patch on top of his white head. One day his ear got a bit chewed up by the dog, the membranes of the ear were separated and blood was accumulating in there giving him a tough UFC-fighter-like cauliflower ear. The vet said he needed surgery, after they shaved his head the patch disappeared, now I was left with a totally white cat called “Patch” and so he became “Pancho”. His second name was inspired on Cervantes fictional character Sancho Panza as he has a little bit of “panza”…
He is the sweetest cat on Earth, he sits across from me when I’m cooking to keep me company (and to get the stray bit of celery so he can roll on it). He lies down on my lap when I’m watching TV. He runs to the door to say “hi” when I arrive home; and when he falls off a chair while napping, he gets up and licks himself and looks at you like saying “what? I meant to do that!”
Yup, I love my cat but sometimes I wonder… specially in days like today, when he woke me up at 4:00 am lying down on my stomach (did I mentioned that he weighs 16 lbs?), loudly purring and demanding affection. Yes, yes, so cute BUT AT 4:00 AM!!! And to jump off of me, he made sure to stand on my boobs first, at FOUR.A.M. Afterwards, to make it better what does Pancho do? He vomits! Nothing says good morning quite like a sick cat and, since the dog barked at him, he ran scared leaving a trail of bile and pieces of breakfast all over the floor!
So I wonder do I really love him?! And then he does this:
And I forget about the black bags under my eyes, my sore boobs, and the trails of morning puke.
Later, I’ll be telling you more about the other 2 character of my house. Until then:
I’ve been thinking for a long time about creating a blog and, if you are reading this, I can safely say that you know that I finally decided to go ahead and do it!
What will you find here? A little bit of everything! From a silly call with a client to cute (based on my definition of cute, of course) things my pets do.
Of course, now you want to see a little sample of what I have to say! Well… I thought *so* long and hard on making the blog that I didn’t have time to make my first post. So come back another day and there might be something here for you to read 😉 Until then: