Yes, I failed. Remember that thing I wanted to do and tell you once I was half way done? You know, the thing about the 3 weeks? Yeah… didn’t happen.
I’ve been putting off writing this post because I didn’t want to admit that I had failed, but I think that I needed to be honest with me and say it out loud: I failed. I didn’t do it, again.
See? I wanted to do the 100 pushups in 6 weeks challenge in time for my wedding. I was all like “since I blogged about it, I’m totally going to do it because I will have people to answer to!” So I decided to do the 100 pushups, and the 200 crunches, and the 200 squats. Greedy little bugger, eh?
I did two whole weeks, double than my usual self-imposed challenges. I was feeling proud and loving the feeling. I was cursing through every single repetition but I was doing it. I was doing it and I was going to rock it and I was going to be proud. I could see me writing the post titled “I DID IT! I AM THE QUEEN!”… instead, I found myself getting my period, which means, I don’t want to do anything. I feel yucky, hot, unmotivated. Who wants to squat and feel *that* rushing out with every squat? Who wants to do a crunch when being super swollen? Not me, that’s for sure! So I said “who cares? I’ll make it up next week” Well, it didn’t happen, I had already gotten into excuse mode and I couldn’t get out of it, by the time I was ready to resume it I would have had to start it all over again and I remembered how hard it had been to get to where I was; and even though it felt great to accomplish a little bit, I just didn’t want to pass through it again. Imagine playing this awesome video game and the power goes off and you hadn’t saved a thing. Do you really want to do it again? Well, *I* don’t.
And I feel bad, I am embarrassed I could not do it. Embarrassed that I failed *me*. Embarrassed that I am telling *you*. Embarrassed that I had a goal and I self-sabotaged me.
Now I’m looking for a new goal, I want to do something to the end, I want to write that beaming post and feel the pride!
I have decided to do “Frog Squats” also called “Frog Pose” from Kundalini Yoga. They say that it has to be a number of times whose digits add up to 5 or 8 either first thing in the morning or last thing at night (I don’t know why) so that’s what I’ll do.
*puts hand over heart* I, Fairy With T, pledge to do frog squats every day until I reach 113 frog squats at once! *removes hand*
I do not know how long this will take me but I will start with 14. Tonight!
May the force be with me _\\// (how many of you are cringing because I put those two things together bwahahahahahahaha!)
I will do weekly updates…. hopefully 😛