There are 7 questions that should be out of everybody’s repertoire of “small talk” questions. These are questions that only very close friends/relative should be allowed to ask, and that, if they are REALLY close, then they already know the answer and wouldn’t dream to ask them. All in all: STOP ASKING THESE QUESTIONS!
These questions are extremely personal and can really poke the finger in raw feelings. Think about it! I have complained about them before and get the ridiculous answer of “those are typical questions”. I don’t care that they are typical, stop asking them, just stop.
Oh yeah, I should tell you the questions, shouldn’t I? 😛
1. When are you going to find a boyfriend/girlfriend? Typical question from a grandma or a friend of your parents. Imagine how this question feels on someone that feels inadequate and with low self esteem? Blow to the gut!
Then you find a better half. You’ve been with him for a while and people start asking:
2. When are you moving in together? Immediate thought: “Well, just last night I ate a vat of ice cream after an argument turned ugly when I asked him that exact same question for the tenth time!” How do you think this person will feel about your question? I’m sure she’ll say “Not yet, sometime later” with a big smile while inside she is thinking “SEE?! Even the neighbor of my twice removed cousin thinks it’s time to move in!”
You move in to a nice apartment and your other half gets laid off, things are tense at home because there is not enough money coming in. And your sister’s friend is left alone in the same room as you so she decides to go for small talk:
3. When are you buying a house? Answer “One day :)” Thoughts: “Money doesn’t grow of F%#&^ trees, you dweeb!”
What if you do get the house? Well, of course everybody and their dogs are wondering:
4. When are you getting married? That’s quite close to question number 2 if you ask me.
And so, you get married. You would be surprised to what this does to people. Some even ask it during your wedding reception:
5. When are you having babies? “Why don’t you let me consummate my marriage first? :)” I think this is the big mama of loaded questions (HA HA! “big mama”! Get it? Get it? Ok, move on…) This is an extremely personal question. Some people do not want kids, for them, it can be a very annoying thing to explain and could make them second guess themselves. But what happens when you or your partner cannot have kids? That is a constant painful reminder every single time you ask.
Then if you do have a kid you get questions 6. When are you having a 2nd, 3rd, etc baby? and 7. When are you getting the boy/girl?
It just never ends! Stop the pressure with the personal questions! We don’t go around asking people “When are you going to dye your roots?” or “When are you going to take a shower?” or “Are you planning on paying all your credit card debt any time soon?”, what about “When are you going to lose those extra pounds?”