Archive for category Things I hear

The 7 No-No Questions

There are 7 questions that should be out of everybody’s repertoire of “small talk” questions. These are questions that only very close friends/relative should be allowed to ask, and that, if they are REALLY close, then they already know the answer and wouldn’t dream to ask them. All in all: STOP ASKING THESE QUESTIONS!stopsign

These questions are extremely personal and can really poke the finger in raw feelings. Think about it! I have complained about them before and get the ridiculous answer of “those are typical questions”. I don’t care that they are typical, stop asking them, just stop.

Oh yeah, I should tell you the questions, shouldn’t I? πŸ˜›

1. When are you going to find a boyfriend/girlfriend? Typical question from a grandma or a friend of your parents. Imagine how this question feels on someone that feels inadequate and with low self esteem? Blow to the gut!

Then you find a better half. You’ve been with him for a while and people start asking:

2. When are you moving in together? Immediate thought: “Well, just last night I ate a vat of ice cream after an argument turned ugly when I asked him that exact same question for the tenth time!” How do you think this person will feel about your question? I’m sure she’ll say “Not yet, sometime later” with a big smile while inside she is thinking “SEE?! Even the neighbor of my twice removed cousin thinks it’s time to move in!”

You move in to a nice apartment and your other half gets laid off, things are tense at home because there is not enough money coming in. And your sister’s friend is left alone in the same room as you so she decides to go for small talk:

3. When are you buying a house? Answer “One day :)” Thoughts: “Money doesn’t grow of F%#&^ trees, you dweeb!”

What if you do get the house? Well, of course everybody and their dogs are wondering:

4. When are you getting married? That’s quite close to question number 2 if you ask me.

And so, you get married. You would be surprised to what this does to people. Some even ask it during your wedding reception:

5. When are you having babies? “Why don’t you let me consummate my marriage first? :)” I think this is the big mama of loaded questions (HA HA! “big mama”! Get it? Get it? Ok, move on…) This is an extremely personal question. Some people do not want kids, for them, it can be a very annoying thing to explain and could make them second guess themselves. But what happens when you orΒ  your partner cannot have kids? That is a constant painful reminder every single time you ask.

Then if you do have a kid you get questions 6. When are you having a 2nd, 3rd, etc baby? and 7. When are you getting the boy/girl?

It just never ends! Stop the pressure with the personal questions! We don’t go around asking people “When are you going to dye your roots?” or “When are you going to take a shower?” or “Are you planning on paying all your credit card debt any time soon?”, what about “When are you going to lose those extra pounds?”

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Not like most kids

From the mouth of a five year-old boy:

“I am not like the other kids. They all have ONE favourite colour. I have TWO favourite colours: blue and rainbow!”

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Splinter meets finger

Recently a 5 year old came to me with a splinter in his right pinky. He kept holding it out to me asking for a band-aid. Anyways, after convincing him to close his eyes, I was able to pull the splinter out, add a ban-aid, a kiss, and he was just like new… well, he just needed to make sure of one more thing first:

  • Excuse, me?
  • Yes?
  • Is this my left hand? *holds out “injured” hand*
  • No, that’s your right hand
  • Phew! That’s good, because I am left handed

He then proceeded to tell me that we should have cupcakes to make his pinky feel better.

That’s one smart kid! πŸ˜‰

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What did he say?

You know? Working with children I get to hear a lot of stuff from children and moms alike so I decided to make a category dedicated to these gems. Here is one:

  • Moooom, what did my brother say?
  • He burped
  • Are you sure? It sounded like he said something
  • He’s just talented at burping.

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